One thing I do even on my headless setups is install Buster with Desktop. Then when I’m all done setting everything up, I go into Raspberry Pi Configuration and set it to boot to command line to save on resources. I like having the option to use a GUI if need be. To get back to the GUI interface I just run raspi-config from the command line.
I do believe the Pi foundation recently (with Buster) made the Lite Version even lighter by removing a few more things. Some tutorials just haven’t caught up to the changes which leaves you sometimes scratching your head as why things don’t work as advertised.
Anyway, good to hear you have it all sorted out now.